Joy, Anxiety, and Control, Lessons from Inside Out 2

Beth Hewitt: 00:00:00

Good morning, Mel. Good morning, Beth.

Melissa Amos: 00:00:03

Fine day, isn't it? I'm feeling quite

Beth Hewitt: 00:00:07

upbeat today and sprightly.

Melissa Amos: 00:00:12

So am I. I spent the weekend. I took the kiddos to

Melissa Amos: 00:00:16

the cinema, obviously for the kids. Nothing to do with

Melissa Amos: 00:00:20

me. And I saw the new inside out movie.

Melissa Amos: 00:00:23

Yay. I'm really excited to watch this. I loved the first one,

Beth Hewitt: 00:00:27

and I just. I love it from an adult perspective and lens as

Beth Hewitt: 00:00:31

well. Many layers to it. So how did you

Beth Hewitt: 00:00:34

find it? First of all, there might be some spoilers,

Melissa Amos: 00:00:39

I don't know. But it's not the most suspenseful film.

Melissa Amos: 00:00:44

So just, if there's anyone, they're like, I've not seen it yet, then go watch

Melissa Amos: 00:00:47

it and come back.

Melissa Amos: 00:00:51

I really enjoyed it. I think it's more of an adult film than the first

Melissa Amos: 00:00:55

one. Okay. I do. I think it's more like from

Melissa Amos: 00:00:58

a. From a psychotherapy point of view.

Melissa Amos: 00:01:02

And for me, from an entertainment point of view, I thought it was

Melissa Amos: 00:01:05

brilliant. And it's quite. It goes a lot deeper

Melissa Amos: 00:01:09

into the. Into the emotions and what they

Melissa Amos: 00:01:13

mean for us as human beings. And obviously Riley.

Melissa Amos: 00:01:16

So the main character of the show has now turned 13,

Melissa Amos: 00:01:20

and so it's like her 13th birthday. And then

Melissa Amos: 00:01:24

suddenly in the control panel of the brain, this puberty,

Melissa Amos: 00:01:27

but, like. And then you're like, oh, no.

Melissa Amos: 00:01:31

And this is when we are introduced to some

Melissa Amos: 00:01:35

more characters in the brain

Melissa Amos: 00:01:38

control. And it's

Melissa Amos: 00:01:42

fascinating. I got goosebumps.

Beth Hewitt: 00:01:46

Like, when you said 13, it's like remembering that all of that rush of emotions

Beth Hewitt: 00:01:49

that. Those hormones that come when we're 13 and the overwhelm

Beth Hewitt: 00:01:52

and the anxiety and the. What are the new emotions? Anxiety's one, isn't

Beth Hewitt: 00:01:56

there. Anxiety is like the main character. She's

Melissa Amos: 00:02:00

like the joy of the first one. There's

Melissa Amos: 00:02:03

embarrassment, who I love, I think

Melissa Amos: 00:02:07

embarrassment, envy.

Melissa Amos: 00:02:11

And one called Ennui, who

Melissa Amos: 00:02:14

is the sarcastic, bored

Melissa Amos: 00:02:17

French and just sitting

Melissa Amos: 00:02:21

there on their phone, just like. Or on their

Beth Hewitt: 00:02:24

ennui. Yeah, ennui. So you know,

Melissa Amos: 00:02:28

their real sub roles. But the main

Melissa Amos: 00:02:31

character that starts, if you've still got joy and

Melissa Amos: 00:02:34

fear and the others, they haven't

Melissa Amos: 00:02:38

left. Yeah. Anxiety comes and she takes over.

Melissa Amos: 00:02:41

But what I found so interesting is

Melissa Amos: 00:02:45

so at the beginning of the film, joy. You know how

Melissa Amos: 00:02:49

Joy in the first one kind of she takes over, doesn't she? She's

Melissa Amos: 00:02:53

trying to control it. And then she develops this

Melissa Amos: 00:02:56

relationship with sadness, and she's okay.

Melissa Amos: 00:03:00

Like, there is room for sadness and room for the other emotions. But Joyce

Melissa Amos: 00:03:04

still hasn't quite let go of her control.

Beth Hewitt: 00:03:07

Freak. Interesting. Yeah, she's

Melissa Amos: 00:03:11

still there. And she creates this new device which basically

Melissa Amos: 00:03:15

any of the memories that she doesn't like, Riley getting

Melissa Amos: 00:03:18

an f in a paper or her embarrassing herself

Melissa Amos: 00:03:22

or doing something, they're like, I'm just gonna pop it in

Melissa Amos: 00:03:25

there in this funky contraption that they

Melissa Amos: 00:03:29

create and put it into the back of the mind.

Melissa Amos: 00:03:33

And she wiggles it off into the back of the mind and you're

Melissa Amos: 00:03:36

like. Oh, yeah, what's that doing?

Melissa Amos: 00:03:41

Those are going to come. And good intentions, Joy. But, yeah,

Melissa Amos: 00:03:45

great intentions. Great intentions. She's still. So

Melissa Amos: 00:03:49

they start to speak about the belief system, right? And how the

Melissa Amos: 00:03:52

emotions and the experience now create this

Melissa Amos: 00:03:56

belief system, which then creates your sense of

Melissa Amos: 00:03:59

self. I love it.

Melissa Amos: 00:04:02

Goosebumps. Which

Melissa Amos: 00:04:06

forms our inner voice and our inner

Melissa Amos: 00:04:09

understanding and the way that we behave and the way that we show up

Melissa Amos: 00:04:13

and enjoys carefully curated

Melissa Amos: 00:04:18

what memories go into the sea of beliefs?

Melissa Amos: 00:04:22

She has this beautiful belief system, and it's

Melissa Amos: 00:04:25

really solid and really strong. And that with her parents and

Melissa Amos: 00:04:30

how her parents have got up, brought her up. She's very emotionally

Melissa Amos: 00:04:34

stable, I think the beginning, anyway. Yeah. And

Melissa Amos: 00:04:37

so for me, it was super interesting

Melissa Amos: 00:04:42

for them to speak about this inner voice and this sense of self and

Melissa Amos: 00:04:46

how at the beginning, Riley's I'm a good person. I'm a really good

Melissa Amos: 00:04:49

friend. I'm kind. And all of these things that she knows about

Melissa Amos: 00:04:53

herself based on these beliefs. Until

Melissa Amos: 00:04:56

anxiety reads friends

Melissa Amos: 00:05:00

come in. And what's so interesting about anxiety is she

Melissa Amos: 00:05:03

starts off with some really. Again, with the good

Melissa Amos: 00:05:07

intentions. She's yep, we

Melissa Amos: 00:05:11

are just gonna plan everything. We are gonna be

Melissa Amos: 00:05:15

checking every single possibility

Melissa Amos: 00:05:18

of what could happen and what couldn't happen and all of this and everyone's

Melissa Amos: 00:05:22

okay. This is. Starts to

Melissa Amos: 00:05:25

go down a bit of a slippery slope. And

Melissa Amos: 00:05:29

again, the interesting thing was how these new

Melissa Amos: 00:05:33

emotions suddenly came online. Riley's super.

Melissa Amos: 00:05:36

Which is funny. Riley's, like, super sensitive. So her mum comes in at one

Melissa Amos: 00:05:40

point, right, and she just says something and remember what it's like as a teenager.

Melissa Amos: 00:05:44

You just blow up the control panel. And it's because that was a

Melissa Amos: 00:05:47

bit much. I just barely touched it.

Melissa Amos: 00:05:51

And yes, this is what happens now when we're feeling more

Melissa Amos: 00:05:55

sensitive. Just the tiniest trigger.

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:58

Yeah, yeah. Out of proportion.

Melissa Amos: 00:06:03

But, yeah, when anxiety comes in, then it's like joy and

Melissa Amos: 00:06:07

who is it? Joy. Anger, fear and

Melissa Amos: 00:06:10

disgust and sadness. Yeah.

Melissa Amos: 00:06:13

Get propelled into the

Melissa Amos: 00:06:17

mind. So they all end up in the back of the mind as well.

Melissa Amos: 00:06:22

I need to. They get expelled from the brain.

Melissa Amos: 00:06:26

And it starts these questionings of when we get to

Melissa Amos: 00:06:29

a certain age. Like what happens to Joy. Yeah. Where does that

Beth Hewitt: 00:06:33

go? Where is that sitting?

Melissa Amos: 00:06:37

Is it something that is. That's important for

Melissa Amos: 00:06:40

us anymore? How elusive is it? Is it in

Melissa Amos: 00:06:44

control? And the thing with inside out. And what I love about it is,

Melissa Amos: 00:06:48

rather than tell you all the spoilers and the step by step of film, do

Melissa Amos: 00:06:51

go and see it. What's so interesting is this concept of

Melissa Amos: 00:06:54

who's in control of your brain. Because what I got from this

Melissa Amos: 00:06:58

film is there is room for anxiety,

Melissa Amos: 00:07:02

maybe not. Or for what her intention of

Melissa Amos: 00:07:05

anxiety is. We're going to prepare for everything. We're going to prepare

Melissa Amos: 00:07:09

for every possible outcome. There's room for fear.

Melissa Amos: 00:07:13

We just want to make sure that we buckle up our seat belt kind of

Melissa Amos: 00:07:16

thing. There's. In the first film, we really spoke about the role of

Melissa Amos: 00:07:20

sadness and joy. And there is room for embarrassment. And

Melissa Amos: 00:07:23

then all of these things that happen, these are part of the human experience. Experience,

Melissa Amos: 00:07:27

yeah. But what's in control?

Melissa Amos: 00:07:31

And it's when our emotions are in control, and then

Melissa Amos: 00:07:35

they completely determine our

Melissa Amos: 00:07:38

actions and our beliefs and our sense of self and all of

Melissa Amos: 00:07:42

this. Maybe this is where things can

Melissa Amos: 00:07:46

get a little bit out of hand. Yeah. Just derails

Beth Hewitt: 00:07:49

everything. I'm super excited. I don't know. I've watched the first

Beth Hewitt: 00:07:53

one a couple of times. So I'm thinking, do I need to watch the first

Beth Hewitt: 00:07:55

one again to reintroduce me to all of the emotions? But I'm really excited about

Beth Hewitt: 00:07:59

watching it. I love that this journey that we've

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:02

seen Riley being on, and then the progression of each of the

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:06

characters. I love the introduction in the first film to them.

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:09

And now that we're seeing the development of them

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:13

in different stages of life. And I really hope there's going to be another

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:17

one. That would be so cool to see, like, how it continues through Riley's

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:21

life, but with anxiety, I think it's quite interesting because I don't know if it's

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:24

because we're of a certain age, but I don't think

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:28

anxiety was talked about or even recognized as much

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:32

when we were younger. So there's certainly feelings like I had now when I was

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:35

like Riley's age that I could attribute to anxiety.

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:39

And my daughter, who is very self aware and understands

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:42

anxiety, has known what anxiety is. And when she's been describing things that she's

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:46

been experiencing, I've been like, oh, my God, that's exactly how I felt when I

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:49

was in school. Apart from I thought there was something wrong with me. And I

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:52

was different and other to other people. So I love that

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:56

this is introducing, like, anxiety is a new

Beth Hewitt: 00:09:00

word. Everybody knows what anxiety is now today. But I love that

Beth Hewitt: 00:09:03

this film is introduced into the masses, this journey that a

Beth Hewitt: 00:09:07

human being goes on, and how anxiety plays

Beth Hewitt: 00:09:11

into that box of emotions that we have

Beth Hewitt: 00:09:14

inside of us, literally inside of us.

Beth Hewitt: 00:09:18

So I'm really excited to see how this, the story progresses.

Beth Hewitt: 00:09:22

And it just sounds like. Just feels like such a beautiful.

Beth Hewitt: 00:09:25

Whoever's written it, whoever's thought about it, it sounds like they really understand the

Beth Hewitt: 00:09:29

human experience and the journey. Yeah, there must

Beth Hewitt: 00:09:33

be. Yeah, it must be some psychologist,

Melissa Amos: 00:09:35

psychotherapist, human behavior expert. It was very

Melissa Amos: 00:09:39

clever. I've spoken to a lot of parents who

Melissa Amos: 00:09:43

have watched it, and it's sparkling, this conversation at home. Yeah.

Melissa Amos: 00:09:47

About the emotions being in control. And since

Melissa Amos: 00:09:51

then, with my kids, when the emotions come and go, I'm like,

Melissa Amos: 00:09:54

who's in the driving seat right now? And they're

Melissa Amos: 00:09:58

like. And I was asking them, thinking about this sense of self. I was like,

Melissa Amos: 00:10:02

do you think is the control, like the control in the main

Melissa Amos: 00:10:05

control panel? Because what I love in the film, they do, the first one is

Melissa Amos: 00:10:09

you see snippets in other people's brains, and whoever's in the middle is

Melissa Amos: 00:10:13

like, their mental. Yeah. And

Melissa Amos: 00:10:17

I'm saying to them, what do you think? And the little ones are like,

Melissa Amos: 00:10:20

joy. And then one of my children, he has

Melissa Amos: 00:10:24

a little anxiety. And when I say,

Melissa Amos: 00:10:28

who's your favorite? He said, I love that. I love that one with the orange.

Melissa Amos: 00:10:31

Those are anxieties. Yeah. And seeing how they

Melissa Amos: 00:10:35

related to the different emotions to give them the language.

Melissa Amos: 00:10:39

And then there's one point where.

Melissa Amos: 00:10:42

Where the emotions all come together and

Melissa Amos: 00:10:46

Riley has a panic attack, and you see what's going on in the

Melissa Amos: 00:10:49

brain. And it is fascinating to watch.

Melissa Amos: 00:10:53

And I think if you're somebody who suffers from panic attacks

Melissa Amos: 00:10:57

or you feel yourself about to go into one,

Melissa Amos: 00:11:01

I can think back to occasions where I felt all of that going

Melissa Amos: 00:11:05

on. I've had the awareness that I think

Melissa Amos: 00:11:09

the show can give the children, because when

Melissa Amos: 00:11:12

I've been about to put into,

Melissa Amos: 00:11:17

I don't suffer from panic attacks, but there's certainly been occasions where things

Melissa Amos: 00:11:20

have built up and I feel like these emotions

Melissa Amos: 00:11:24

starting to go online and working so quickly

Melissa Amos: 00:11:28

that they end up freezing. And in the

Melissa Amos: 00:11:32

film, it is depicted so brilliantly,

Melissa Amos: 00:11:35

how we can then actually

Melissa Amos: 00:11:38

identify what it is that's going on and

Melissa Amos: 00:11:42

therefore detach from it, watch it,

Melissa Amos: 00:11:46

and then come back and then go, okay, no, I'm here. I'm landed.

Melissa Amos: 00:11:49

I'm grounded. What can I look at the thing we do?

Melissa Amos: 00:11:53

What can I see? What can I feel? What can I smell? What can I

Melissa Amos: 00:11:57

taste? To give us tools. And I really think that this film

Melissa Amos: 00:12:00

will open up this discussion amongst teenagers.

Melissa Amos: 00:12:04

My children are not teenagers yet. But to

Melissa Amos: 00:12:08

have that empowerment of. Okay.

Melissa Amos: 00:12:12

It's not that I'm sad. It's not

Melissa Amos: 00:12:15

that I'm joyful. It's not that I'm

Melissa Amos: 00:12:18

anxious. It's that I have this feeling of

Melissa Amos: 00:12:22

anxiety. I have this joy. I have this feeling of sadness.

Melissa Amos: 00:12:26

And right now, that's what is in control. That's what's

Melissa Amos: 00:12:29

shading everything that I do. And

Melissa Amos: 00:12:34

I think that's brilliant. Yeah. Because we do get labeled

Beth Hewitt: 00:12:37

by our emotion or they're an angry person or they're a

Beth Hewitt: 00:12:42

happy person. And that's not the whole

Beth Hewitt: 00:12:45

picture. I love that it's giving

Beth Hewitt: 00:12:49

parents a chance to

Beth Hewitt: 00:12:53

remember or understand for the first time

Beth Hewitt: 00:12:58

what's going on in a child's head, because we

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:02

think, oh, they're just being like 13 and just being angry

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:05

or stoppy or whatever, but actually there's stuff going on. There's

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:09

the reasons why we all act the way that we do. So I just love

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:13

that from a self awareness point of view, from different

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:17

perspectives, different times in our lives, I just love the whole premise

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:20

of the film. It's whether I do I go on my own or do I

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:23

take, oh. I'll come with you. Bring me on your phone.

Melissa Amos: 00:13:27

I'll watch it with you. We can discuss it. I think you can. It's

Melissa Amos: 00:13:31

not one of those, it's not one of those films where you need.

Melissa Amos: 00:13:34

Sometimes if you're watching comedy, you need someone else.

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:38

Yeah, yeah, I'm totally fine going to the cinema by myself. I was just thinking,

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:42

do I share this with my. Because my, my daughter's already watched it,

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:46

so I've got some nieces that I could bring along for the ride. Perhaps that's

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:49

what we'll do. Definitely. I think I'm going to.

Melissa Amos: 00:13:53

Am I going to have people buy films anymore? I don't know why. I think

Melissa Amos: 00:13:56

it's one that I've got inside out, one on dvd. I

Melissa Amos: 00:14:00

think it's something that would be good to have in the family

Melissa Amos: 00:14:04

just to, you know, because even these concepts

Melissa Amos: 00:14:08

about. I'm just going to put it to the back of the mind and, like,

Melissa Amos: 00:14:11

the consequence of what. Yeah, that is, it's.

Melissa Amos: 00:14:15

Can we. When we put it to the back of the mind, does

Melissa Amos: 00:14:18

it actually leave. I don't think it does leave.

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:23

But it's interesting that you say that, because that's like my

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:26

grandma used to say, that I'll just put it in the little box at the

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:29

back of your mind and just forget about it. And it was all good intentions.

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:33

Let's just put it to one side and let's just concentrate on the positive. She

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:35

was a very positive person. So then my mum's just do what grandma, if I'm

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:38

going through a difficult time, just do what grandma says, just put it to the

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:41

back of your mind thinking, yeah, that sounds like a good idea in principle, but

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:44

what is happening to that box at the bottom back of her mind? And I

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:48

think a lot of people do it. Maybe it's just a concept that a lot

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:50

of people have used of a certain generation without

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:54

realizing the consequences of that. And I think it also depends on what kind

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:58

of person you are. If you're really good at compartmentalising things and

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:01

detaching yourself from something, that might be a really good strategy, but it's

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:05

still there somewhere, other people. That is possibly not the

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:09

best thing to do for a whole myriad of reasons,

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:12

but it's one of these things that, you know, just put in that

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:16

pretty little box at the back of your mind and just forget about

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:20

it and just get on with it. Yeah, because it's as easy as that. But

Melissa Amos: 00:15:23

it's not easy. But they could have gone deeper with this concept,

Melissa Amos: 00:15:27

I think, in the film. But does it go

Melissa Amos: 00:15:31

anywhere? What happens to it? What happens when, if we think about this from an

Melissa Amos: 00:15:34

evolution point of view or from a law of attraction, spiritual,

Melissa Amos: 00:15:38

even a psychological point of view, when things are

Melissa Amos: 00:15:41

happening and we're going through these experiences, I think we do all have a

Melissa Amos: 00:15:45

different tint. Some of us do our more glass half full, glass half

Melissa Amos: 00:15:49

empty. Some of us can, like you say, compartmentalize, okay, this

Melissa Amos: 00:15:53

happened in that it's disaster. Whereas for some people it will throw and

Melissa Amos: 00:15:56

anxiety. And I think in those instances it's okay, let's

Melissa Amos: 00:16:00

just stop. But by putting it in the back

Melissa Amos: 00:16:04

of your mind, then it's not being processed. And if you

Melissa Amos: 00:16:07

imagine in inside out, they have every memory as these balls.

Melissa Amos: 00:16:11

I use that in my head all the time. So they have these little

Melissa Amos: 00:16:15

balls. So if you think of every time a little ball isn't

Melissa Amos: 00:16:18

processed, it goes into a bag,

Melissa Amos: 00:16:22

which is your shadow, because you're like, no, I didn't just fill that test.

Melissa Amos: 00:16:26

No, I didn't just say that thing. No, I didn't just get

Melissa Amos: 00:16:29

rejected. Oh, no, just put it there and it's gonna go. And then every time

Melissa Amos: 00:16:33

it goes in a bag, and that bag is then on your back, and you're

Melissa Amos: 00:16:37

can. And then it's just getting heavier and

Melissa Amos: 00:16:40

heavier, and then you don't know because you've not processed it, so it

Melissa Amos: 00:16:44

doesn't. In the film, they talk about how this hasn't then formed part of your

Melissa Amos: 00:16:48

sense of self. That's why she's throwing it. Don't put it in the belief, sea

Melissa Amos: 00:16:51

or river or whatever it is, to make it part of your

Melissa Amos: 00:16:54

beliefs. Just chuck it in the back of your mind. And so because it's

Melissa Amos: 00:16:58

something that you have rejected, essentially, you're then

Melissa Amos: 00:17:02

carrying it, and then you don't know. There's not like

Melissa Amos: 00:17:05

a. There's not an awareness of

Melissa Amos: 00:17:09

either what to do when these things happen or will I need

Melissa Amos: 00:17:13

to hide it? If this comes out again, imagine that somebody

Melissa Amos: 00:17:17

talks to my new friend about that

Melissa Amos: 00:17:21

thing that I did. That was super embarrassing. And so then you're

Melissa Amos: 00:17:25

going around with this huge bag on your back thinking, why am I

Melissa Amos: 00:17:29

tired? Why can I not be

Melissa Amos: 00:17:33

fully myself? Why am I anxious

Melissa Amos: 00:17:36

about something? What is it that's going on? And it's because you're

Melissa Amos: 00:17:40

walking up the mountain with a massive bag on your back, and you're like, I

Melissa Amos: 00:17:44

just want to be free now. Rather than put them

Melissa Amos: 00:17:47

in the back of the mind, if we did look at them, this is the

Melissa Amos: 00:17:50

processing. This is their. Okay, this happened, and I'm

Melissa Amos: 00:17:54

okay. Yeah. And I'm going to see the joy

Melissa Amos: 00:17:57

in the occasion and the sadness in the occasion and the fear in the occasion.

Melissa Amos: 00:18:01

In the end, I'm going to allow for the emotions to

Melissa Amos: 00:18:05

look at that and be like, okay, this happened and this happened,

Melissa Amos: 00:18:08

and now I'm going to learn from it and grow from it. Now it's not

Melissa Amos: 00:18:12

in my bag now it's like swimming in my sea of whatever. Yeah.

Melissa Amos: 00:18:15

Now, I've used that experience

Melissa Amos: 00:18:20

as part of my next growth and my next evolution.

Beth Hewitt: 00:18:23

Yeah. From an akashic records point of view,

Melissa Amos: 00:18:28

when I'm looking at in the film and I'm looking at this big wall of

Melissa Amos: 00:18:32

all of the things, I'm like, yeah, that. That is like what

Melissa Amos: 00:18:35

I see. Yeah. And it's been influenced by the film, but

Melissa Amos: 00:18:39

that's like, what I see is there's these little orbs. It's the ones that

Melissa Amos: 00:18:43

maybe are tainted with an emotion that wasn't right. And

Melissa Amos: 00:18:47

then we're like, leave it there. That then weigh so

Melissa Amos: 00:18:51

heavy on us. And then maybe in this incarnation, where like,

Melissa Amos: 00:18:55

this time I'm going to stand up to my fears. Yeah. Then

Melissa Amos: 00:18:58

you're like, all these fears come up, all these incidents come up and be like,

Melissa Amos: 00:19:01

nope, nope, nope. Well, I think it's. Yeah, that connection

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:04

to the life lessons, if something happens

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:08

negative, we put it in the back of the mind. The bag gets heavier every

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:12

time that happens or similar situation, we keep adding to the bag. Like you

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:16

say, it gets heavier and ever and heavier. We're not dealing with it, but

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:19

it's that connection with, we're presented

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:23

in life with the same situations or

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:27

similar situations again and again until we deal with the things in the

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:30

back. Yeah. It just comes up again in a new way.

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:34

The same relationship problems, the same money

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:38

problems, whatever that is. It's because we're not dealing with the things

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:41

in the box or the back, and it's just getting heavier and heavier.

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:45

So it's really important to process

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:49

when we're ready to do that. And I think when we get

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:53

to a point in our lives where we feel comfortable with that

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:56

process and doing it, I don't say faster. Like, I don't feel like we

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:00

need to speed up the process, but it's easier to, once we've

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:04

learned the process of doing that, to do it. And

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:08

every time a new instance comes up, we work through that

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:11

rather than getting to a certain point in life when we open the box in

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:15

the back of our head or the box opens itself because it's a pressure point.

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:18

Right. We filled the box. There's no more room

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:22

in the box. The box explodes. And now we've just got to deal with all

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:25

of our stuff. We don't want to get to that point, but that is what

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:28

sometimes happens. So I just. Yeah, there's so

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:32

many analogies, like with the Akashic records, with past lives,

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:36

with life purpose and journey and lessons.

Melissa Amos: 00:20:39

Let's think about this bag that I'm carrying on my back and think about my

Melissa Amos: 00:20:43

energetic field. Yeah. So my energetic field is composed

Melissa Amos: 00:20:47

of my sense of self. Yes. That's probably one of the biggest,

Melissa Amos: 00:20:50

biggest roles, but also what I eat, who I hang out with, my

Melissa Amos: 00:20:54

environment, all of these things. And the bag. The

Melissa Amos: 00:20:57

bag is like the big, heavy rucksack, right? You're walking up the hill,

Melissa Amos: 00:21:01

you know, you've got a big, heavy rucksack on. Like, it's. And so if you

Melissa Amos: 00:21:05

imagine all of these little balls, they are then, like, spewing out the

Melissa Amos: 00:21:08

frequency of what it is because they are. It's like they're on the

Melissa Amos: 00:21:11

outer. Yeah, it's like, they're on the outer shell. So they have

Melissa Amos: 00:21:15

this frequency thing. And they're going, look at me. And so how when they're

Melissa Amos: 00:21:19

throwing this, look at me. How does the universe respond to that? They're like,

Melissa Amos: 00:21:23

here you go. And so then we start to see other

Melissa Amos: 00:21:26

people. Exhibiting the behavior that we've just rejected.

Beth Hewitt: 00:21:29

Yeah. In the back of our thing. And then we're triggered. We're like, oh, how

Melissa Amos: 00:21:33

dare they do this. Who do they think they are? They're

Melissa Amos: 00:21:37

so full of themselves. Because. Because they have accepted the

Melissa Amos: 00:21:40

thing that is in the back of your bag that you can accept.

Melissa Amos: 00:21:44

And so, as we reject it in ourselves, we're rejecting it in others.

Melissa Amos: 00:21:48

As we reject it in others, we're rejecting it in ourselves. And just

Melissa Amos: 00:21:52

from a law of attraction point of view. That until ball comes

Melissa Amos: 00:21:55

integrated. And so forms part of the sense of

Melissa Amos: 00:21:59

self and part of the belief. Not a

Melissa Amos: 00:22:02

big ball on your back. It will keep

Melissa Amos: 00:22:06

on showing up for you. And you will keep on getting

Melissa Amos: 00:22:10

triggered. Whatever energy you put into. I can't deal with

Melissa Amos: 00:22:13

this. You will keep on seeing it outside of yourself over and

Melissa Amos: 00:22:17

over again. So the good news is with that,

Melissa Amos: 00:22:21

if you keep doing the thing outside of yourself. And you keep

Melissa Amos: 00:22:25

on getting whatever. And you're on the

Melissa Amos: 00:22:29

Internet. And you're being triggered over and over again. It's

Melissa Amos: 00:22:32

actually like, okay. Just taking that back and going,

Melissa Amos: 00:22:36

okay, where do I sit with this? When does this happen to

Melissa Amos: 00:22:39

me? When does this happen for me? When has this happened by me? What did

Melissa Amos: 00:22:43

I do with it at the time? And then that will

Melissa Amos: 00:22:47

bring that memory or bring that experience

Melissa Amos: 00:22:50

forward. So then, rather than it be tainted in this

Melissa Amos: 00:22:54

black cloud. Which is the shadow. We can then look at

Melissa Amos: 00:22:58

it with the emotion of acceptance.

Melissa Amos: 00:23:01

Which I'd like to see as this white kind of

Melissa Amos: 00:23:05

silvery white energy. Which then

Melissa Amos: 00:23:09

lightens the load. And then it can go into the thing and go, okay, this

Melissa Amos: 00:23:12

happens to me by me. But this doesn't make me a bad person.

Melissa Amos: 00:23:16

I still am kind and loving and a good friend. And all of

Melissa Amos: 00:23:20

this. And I did this thing once. That

Melissa Amos: 00:23:23

wasn't wonderful. Yeah. I'm just wondering

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:27

whether, like Riley getting to

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:30

know all the new characters. All

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:34

the new emotions. That is part of the

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:38

reintegration. Like

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:41

when we're ready to take the thing out of the bag. To look at it

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:45

and to deal with it. When we like what you talk about a lot about

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:49

to know thyself. Or we know and fully understand our emotions. And accept

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:53

that anxiety is anxiety. And embarrassment is embarrassment. Whatever is

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:56

attached to this thing in the orb that is there to be dealt with. But

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:00

the more we understand our emotions and the more we understand ourselves,

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:04

the easier it is to understand this part of ourself as

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:08

well, for sure. And I think that comes

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:13

with time. And so it comes back to

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:16

that. When is the right time to deal with these things? We can deal with

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:20

them right then in the moment, if we want to do that, and there will

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:24

be experience that draws from it. But if there's things, as listeners, if you listen

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:27

to this and you think, I've got stuff in my bag, like, we've all got

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:30

stuff in our bag, and now I'm ready to look at it now,

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:34

there shouldn't be any kind of shame that you haven't been able to deal with

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:37

that before. Right now is, if you're ready to do it, now is the time

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:41

to do it. And it doesn't matter that we didn't do it when we were

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:43

510, 1520, we might not have been in the place to do it then because

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:47

we didn't know how. And so. But whenever

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:50

you're ready and whenever it feels right, then

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:54

it's always great to know ourselves

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:58

better and to start to unpack the

Beth Hewitt: 00:25:02

bag, if that's what you want to do. For me, it's this. I

Melissa Amos: 00:25:05

think this is part of the maturity. And they touch on this in the film

Melissa Amos: 00:25:08

as well, where when embarrassment and

Melissa Amos: 00:25:12

envy and anxiety come in, where at the

Melissa Amos: 00:25:16

beginning, sadness, anger, fear was very much about this sense of

Melissa Amos: 00:25:19

self and who I am as a person. Yeah. That we turn into

Melissa Amos: 00:25:23

teenagers, then it becomes very much about

Melissa Amos: 00:25:27

who am I in the world? Yes. Who am I compared to the world.

Beth Hewitt: 00:25:31

Yeah. How. What does the world now think of me? And it.

Melissa Amos: 00:25:34

And our sense of self becomes externalized. And

Melissa Amos: 00:25:38

that's where we now don't have control. I have control

Melissa Amos: 00:25:42

over whether I'm a good friend or not. I don't

Melissa Amos: 00:25:46

have control about whether somebody likes me. I can't

Melissa Amos: 00:25:49

make someone like me. All I can do is be my

Melissa Amos: 00:25:53

show up how I would want to be a friend.

Beth Hewitt: 00:25:57

Yeah. You're either going to accept that or reject that. And I

Melissa Amos: 00:26:01

think, again, the film beautifully depicts this, that this

Melissa Amos: 00:26:05

isn't something that's your fault. This is part of growing up. This

Melissa Amos: 00:26:09

is part of. It's part of our evolution. Even as babies. Between.

Melissa Amos: 00:26:13

Is it in zero and two? The baby doesn't realize that it's a separate

Melissa Amos: 00:26:16

entity from the mother. It just doesn't. It just hasn't got

Melissa Amos: 00:26:20

a concept that me and my mum are separate,

Melissa Amos: 00:26:23

the same and then as we grow up, we start to get this sense of

Melissa Amos: 00:26:27

self. And then, and hopefully that is something

Melissa Amos: 00:26:31

like we see in Riley's mind, that she has this

Melissa Amos: 00:26:35

stability and she has this loving home that she comes from and her

Melissa Amos: 00:26:38

parents look after her and listen to her and accept

Melissa Amos: 00:26:42

her for who she is, which has given her this really strong

Melissa Amos: 00:26:45

foundation. That's not true for everybody. And so between

Melissa Amos: 00:26:49

then the ages of two and seven, we're just downloading everything. So

Melissa Amos: 00:26:53

actually, whatever our caregivers, however they respond

Melissa Amos: 00:26:57

and sets us up essentially for life if we don't

Melissa Amos: 00:27:01

do anything about it. But they've only responded from their parents and their parents,

Melissa Amos: 00:27:04

and they didn't have a film like inside out growing up. They don't

Melissa Amos: 00:27:08

know. They're just acting like kind of unconsciously.

Melissa Amos: 00:27:12

And for me, as you're listening to this podcast, then I'm

Melissa Amos: 00:27:15

going to, I'm going to guess and suggest that you're probably

Melissa Amos: 00:27:19

quite aware, you have a self awareness, you have an openness

Melissa Amos: 00:27:23

to awareness. And for me, this is about

Melissa Amos: 00:27:26

reclaiming this, actually, I'm the one

Melissa Amos: 00:27:29

that can co create. I'm the one that is,

Melissa Amos: 00:27:34

I'm not sure controls the right word, but it's my

Melissa Amos: 00:27:38

sense of self that's going to guide me. And what else do I need

Melissa Amos: 00:27:42

to know about me? What awareness can I bring in that feeds into my sense

Melissa Amos: 00:27:46

of self so that I'm not triggering good and firing off all the

Melissa Amos: 00:27:49

emotions that are making me go? That

Melissa Amos: 00:27:53

doesn't just happen because

Melissa Amos: 00:27:57

I don't think it happens as a natural process. I think it happens when suddenly

Melissa Amos: 00:28:01

one day we listen to something and it brings

Melissa Amos: 00:28:05

a suggestion in our mind. They're like, oh, and

Melissa Amos: 00:28:08

maybe this is that moment for some of you, or maybe you had that in

Melissa Amos: 00:28:11

the past, and then our job is to go, okay,

Melissa Amos: 00:28:15

can I bring in that

Melissa Amos: 00:28:18

courage? Can I bring in that inquisitive, can I

Melissa Amos: 00:28:22

work with a friend? This is why mentors, coaches, therapists

Melissa Amos: 00:28:26

are so useful, because it's very hard to do it

Melissa Amos: 00:28:30

on your own, because then you're still in that sense of judgment.

Melissa Amos: 00:28:34

Because that's what we do. Like, we judge ourselves.

Melissa Amos: 00:28:38

That's what we were taught. And so if we can work with a

Melissa Amos: 00:28:41

therapist or a healer or a coach or a guide or

Melissa Amos: 00:28:45

a mentor that can hold that and be like,

Melissa Amos: 00:28:49

that's okay, you did this. What I love about the akashic

Melissa Amos: 00:28:53

records, it's literally that energy, yeah, this happened. And now

Melissa Amos: 00:28:57

that actually, then we can start to change as a

Melissa Amos: 00:29:00

fundamental, our sense of self can then begin to

Melissa Amos: 00:29:04

change, to come into our true sense of self, not our

Melissa Amos: 00:29:08

program. What's that? I just saw

Melissa Amos: 00:29:12

something. I just. It was a giant bird.

Melissa Amos: 00:29:15

I just saw it behind me.

Melissa Amos: 00:29:20

Was that one of. One of your orbs? Yeah, it was a giant bird

Beth Hewitt: 00:29:24

just landing on the roof on top of my head. So

Melissa Amos: 00:29:27

it's never your fault, but it comes to a point where

Melissa Amos: 00:29:31

we can begin to take responsibility of,

Melissa Amos: 00:29:34

okay, what's the next step of my evolution?

Melissa Amos: 00:29:38

And even this morning, I pulled a

Melissa Amos: 00:29:42

card, and quite often when I put a card, it's, what do I

Melissa Amos: 00:29:45

need to know? Or what's my energy? Like today? Or

Melissa Amos: 00:29:49

something, again, to bring into my awareness something that's not in my

Melissa Amos: 00:29:52

awareness. And then today, for some reason,

Melissa Amos: 00:29:56

because I was doing an intention thing last night, probably,

Melissa Amos: 00:30:00

I asked a different question, and I put. And I

Melissa Amos: 00:30:04

said, how do I. What's my co

Melissa Amos: 00:30:07

creation energy today?

Melissa Amos: 00:30:11

What's my co creation energy today? Because then it's like me and the

Melissa Amos: 00:30:14

universe together. Yes. Yeah. Where can I bring my

Melissa Amos: 00:30:18

mind to help? And I like that.

Melissa Amos: 00:30:23

It was the same card I pulled last night, one of the same cards I

Melissa Amos: 00:30:26

pulled last night. And the

Melissa Amos: 00:30:29

card says, bloom, where you are

Melissa Amos: 00:30:33

planeted, planted. And it's a picture of a

Melissa Amos: 00:30:36

world with a tree coming out of the top

Melissa Amos: 00:30:40

of the world, and then the root of the tree is spinning around the

Melissa Amos: 00:30:44

world and then underneath it, it's like at the

Melissa Amos: 00:30:48

bottom. I don't know if it's meant to be mycelium or my

Melissa Amos: 00:30:52

cell or something. I show you in that gorgeous

Melissa Amos: 00:30:55

yellow joy color. Yeah.

Beth Hewitt: 00:30:58

Well, planeted. Yeah, it's the

Melissa Amos: 00:31:02

cosmic. The cosmic journey oracle. And I

Melissa Amos: 00:31:06

was in card number six, and I was like, that's interesting

Melissa Amos: 00:31:09

because I'm asking this question about co creation, and it's bringing me right

Melissa Amos: 00:31:13

back to me. Where am I in my body? Make the most of every

Melissa Amos: 00:31:16

situation. I had a message this morning, which was a

Melissa Amos: 00:31:20

really nice message, but for some reason, through me, and I

Melissa Amos: 00:31:24

felt that anxiety go, whoa, what does that mean? What does

Melissa Amos: 00:31:28

that mean that they're saying what's going on behind us? And I was like, and

Melissa Amos: 00:31:31

this is, hey, come back. Be rooted, be grounded. Now, how do you want

Melissa Amos: 00:31:35

to respond? From your sense of self, from who you are, from making the

Melissa Amos: 00:31:39

best. You don't know what's going on in anyone else's brain. Yeah. My sense of

Melissa Amos: 00:31:43

self should not be reliant

Melissa Amos: 00:31:47

on what somebody else thinks, says or does.

Melissa Amos: 00:31:50

Where's my integrity? Where's my

Melissa Amos: 00:31:54

right action? Where's my acceptance? And

Melissa Amos: 00:31:59

what I would love to see inside out three is as Riley

Melissa Amos: 00:32:03

comes into maybe late teens, early

Melissa Amos: 00:32:06

adulthood. Like how that sense,

Melissa Amos: 00:32:10

maybe. Yeah, that's what I was going to ask, that

Beth Hewitt: 00:32:14

if we could look into the future for inside out three, or what

Beth Hewitt: 00:32:18

would the new emotions and what would the new experiences be

Beth Hewitt: 00:32:21

that Riley would have? I'd like to

Melissa Amos: 00:32:25

think. It depends which way it goes. Yeah.

Melissa Amos: 00:32:31

Then you think about Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Melissa Amos: 00:32:35

Yeah, brilliant concept. I would like to

Melissa Amos: 00:32:38

think courage. Yeah. Courage and

Beth Hewitt: 00:32:42

confidence. Yeah. Yeah. Like, what was really

Melissa Amos: 00:32:45

interested in the film is that there's joyous, this is

Melissa Amos: 00:32:49

the positive emotion. And then there's embarrassment, which you

Melissa Amos: 00:32:52

could see a shame in the hierarchy.

Melissa Amos: 00:32:56

There's envy, there's anxiety, there's

Melissa Amos: 00:32:59

sadness, there's fear, like

Melissa Amos: 00:33:03

there's boredom. And you're like, there's one

Melissa Amos: 00:33:07

positive. And we're like. And this is also really interesting. Think

Melissa Amos: 00:33:10

positive. And you're like, hold on a minute, I've got one positive

Melissa Amos: 00:33:14

eight. And I think it's true for like, I'm feeling happy, I'm

Melissa Amos: 00:33:18

feeling glad, I'm feeling joyful.

Melissa Amos: 00:33:22

But then the negatives, there's hundreds. Yeah, it's

Beth Hewitt: 00:33:25

so true. Like, when you look at the emotional guidance scale, whatever version, you look

Beth Hewitt: 00:33:29

at the positive vibration emotions, there's only a few of them at the

Beth Hewitt: 00:33:32

top, but there's a vast array of negative

Beth Hewitt: 00:33:36

emotions. Right. Just outweighing. So it makes sense

Beth Hewitt: 00:33:40

that we would find it difficult to find the joy. When

Melissa Amos: 00:33:43

we look at the emotional scale. So if

Melissa Amos: 00:33:47

we then turn Maslow's hierarchy of needs into David Doctor

Melissa Amos: 00:33:51

Hawkins vibrational scale, and you look at the ones that go

Melissa Amos: 00:33:54

above acceptance, the frequency is a lot higher, so

Melissa Amos: 00:33:58

they outweigh it. And you get with joy, you see how all of

Melissa Amos: 00:34:02

the emotions are like, yeah, but she's. It's

Melissa Amos: 00:34:05

cool, we've got this. And whether we're

Melissa Amos: 00:34:09

bypassing in that moment or no, I'm going to step in. So I'd

Melissa Amos: 00:34:12

like for to see some of the more positive,

Melissa Amos: 00:34:17

the higher frequency, the stronger emotions, like

Melissa Amos: 00:34:20

acceptance, courage, love, start to come

Melissa Amos: 00:34:24

in to play there. Yeah. Really? I

Beth Hewitt: 00:34:28

think we will see love if there's a third one,

Beth Hewitt: 00:34:32

unconditional love and self love, self awareness.

Melissa Amos: 00:34:36

And self awareness. I wonder if that will come in. So when

Melissa Amos: 00:34:40

they got this sense of self, which

Melissa Amos: 00:34:43

is not a person, but it's a thing in the show, I wonder

Melissa Amos: 00:34:47

if that will be this self awareness. Like this eye, could you imagine this

Melissa Amos: 00:34:51

eye just looking out? And then again, does that come through the lens of

Melissa Amos: 00:34:54

joy or anxiety or fear? I think the film is

Melissa Amos: 00:34:58

brilliant. And I think you will really enjoy it. And

Melissa Amos: 00:35:02

there's so many more instances that I'd love to talk to you

Melissa Amos: 00:35:05

about in the show. Once you've seen it. It, yeah. And listeners, if you've seen

Melissa Amos: 00:35:09

it, what were your takeaways? Has it changed how you think about

Melissa Amos: 00:35:13

yourself or your kids or your behaviours? Because it's

Melissa Amos: 00:35:16

fascinating. I'm super excited to

Beth Hewitt: 00:35:20

watch inside out. I might even go this evening after my

Beth Hewitt: 00:35:24

teeth, see what the late night showing is, and I will report

Beth Hewitt: 00:35:27

back with my takeaways and we can continue this conversation.

Melissa Amos: 00:35:32

Look forward to it.