Who Are You Leading, Really? A Deep Dive into Authentic Leadership.

Melissa Amos: 00:00:00

Good morning, Beth. Good morning, Melissa. Melissa

Beth Hewitt: 00:00:03

2.0. You've been on your retreat. I'm expecting a new

Beth Hewitt: 00:00:07

melissa today. Do I look different? You

Beth Hewitt: 00:00:11

do. You do. I do.

Melissa Amos: 00:00:15

Yes. So we just went to Santorini

Melissa Amos: 00:00:19

with, there was eleven women

Melissa Amos: 00:00:22

on a business retreat that we didn't speak about business

Melissa Amos: 00:00:26

at all. And it was incredible. And I

Melissa Amos: 00:00:30

learned, I say I learned a lot. I learned a lot about me

Melissa Amos: 00:00:33

and about

Melissa Amos: 00:00:37

my barriers.

Melissa Amos: 00:00:41

And it's quite interesting, isn't it, that as you allow

Melissa Amos: 00:00:44

them to come up and be seen and feel safe enough to explore

Melissa Amos: 00:00:48

them, that somehow they just seem to dissipate.

Beth Hewitt: 00:00:52

Yes. And I think it's about having a safe space

Beth Hewitt: 00:00:55

to be able to do that. So that sounds

Beth Hewitt: 00:00:59

wonderful. And isn't it interesting that we go on these retreats? And

Beth Hewitt: 00:01:03

actually, and I think about this a lot, and a lot of the work that

Beth Hewitt: 00:01:06

I do is very holistic. And I think that if we want to improve

Beth Hewitt: 00:01:10

in business or we want to improve in whatever area of life that we're working

Beth Hewitt: 00:01:13

on, it comes back to, you know, us. And if our life, if

Beth Hewitt: 00:01:17

we ourselves aren't feeling it, then how can we expect

Beth Hewitt: 00:01:20

the business to thrive the way that we want it to? I love that you

Beth Hewitt: 00:01:24

did very little. The intention. The other retreats had been more business

Melissa Amos: 00:01:27

focused, and this time it wasn't. And I, and I

Melissa Amos: 00:01:31

think it was more to do with us and the women that were there than

Melissa Amos: 00:01:34

the intention of the. Of everybody.

Melissa Amos: 00:01:38

And yeah, it was. I went in there not

Melissa Amos: 00:01:41

knowing what to expect. I was probably expecting it to be more

Melissa Amos: 00:01:45

business focused if there was an expectation.

Melissa Amos: 00:01:49

First day we set our intentions, and my intention was

Melissa Amos: 00:01:52

this to remove my barriers to greatness

Melissa Amos: 00:01:55

and to explore the fears that are stopping me from fully

Melissa Amos: 00:01:59

stepping in. Amazing, amazing

Beth Hewitt: 00:02:03

intention. And it was funny because

Melissa Amos: 00:02:06

the lady that was running it was the next day or later on she said,

Melissa Amos: 00:02:10

are your intentions the same now? And I'm like,

Melissa Amos: 00:02:13

yep. Because the moment that we started the

Melissa Amos: 00:02:17

first inquiry, it was

Melissa Amos: 00:02:20

like. It was interesting for me because I went into this

Melissa Amos: 00:02:23

meditation and I was asking myself,

Melissa Amos: 00:02:27

what is it that I really want? If it wasn't for anybody else, what is

Melissa Amos: 00:02:31

it that I really want? Yeah, I witnessed my brain telling me

Melissa Amos: 00:02:35

all of the things that I think I want. It was like going through the

Melissa Amos: 00:02:38

list and I'm like, no, that's not it. No,

Melissa Amos: 00:02:42

that's not it. Not because I was batting it away, but because there wasn't an

Melissa Amos: 00:02:45

emotion with it. There was just the things like all clarity,

Melissa Amos: 00:02:49

peace, understanding. And

Melissa Amos: 00:02:53

then suddenly it was almost like, if you could imagine

Melissa Amos: 00:02:57

a tulip, like, opening up. Yeah. And all of the petals,

Melissa Amos: 00:03:01

like, falling away. And then I was just left with this. What is

Melissa Amos: 00:03:05

it? The seed that sits inside it. And

Melissa Amos: 00:03:08

suddenly these words just rose up to

Melissa Amos: 00:03:12

me and said, you want belonging? And

Melissa Amos: 00:03:15

I was like, oh, that's it, yeah,

Melissa Amos: 00:03:19

yeah. And the emotions all came with it. And it was

Melissa Amos: 00:03:23

like anything that all of these other words

Melissa Amos: 00:03:27

and intentions were almost protecting

Melissa Amos: 00:03:30

that. Don't let her. Don't let her find out that's what she

Melissa Amos: 00:03:34

really wants. Yeah. Let's focus on these outer things, these outer petals.

Beth Hewitt: 00:03:37

Let's not get to the innids. The good stuff. But. And I'd never

Melissa Amos: 00:03:41

really considered it because I think we've spoken before that I've

Melissa Amos: 00:03:45

always felt like I'm quite different to other people

Melissa Amos: 00:03:49

and I have my own way of doing things. And

Melissa Amos: 00:03:53

I suppose there's that rebellious. Like, I very rarely think the

Melissa Amos: 00:03:56

same way as most other people and I've accepted that as one of my

Melissa Amos: 00:04:00

superpowers. I'm like, yeah, this is what makes me who I am and all

Melissa Amos: 00:04:04

of this. So when that came up, I was like, that's interesting. And I wonder

Melissa Amos: 00:04:08

how much of what I do has been to deflect from

Melissa Amos: 00:04:11

that and to stop that rejection coming in and coming up.

Beth Hewitt: 00:04:15

I think it's interesting, isn't it? Because belonging, and it's a little bit, I think,

Beth Hewitt: 00:04:18

we talked about on the previous episode, or was it when we were talking in

Beth Hewitt: 00:04:22

the Reiki class? I can't remember, but about my sense of, like, home,

Beth Hewitt: 00:04:26

which is similar to belonging, that feeling of connecting to

Beth Hewitt: 00:04:29

something, but also with belonging, it's

Beth Hewitt: 00:04:33

about community, it's about acceptance, it's about being part of something.

Beth Hewitt: 00:04:37

And I think we often feel like we want to be lone

Beth Hewitt: 00:04:40

wolves and independent, and we don't need to be. Not like

Beth Hewitt: 00:04:44

it's the centre of attention, but it's almost that

Beth Hewitt: 00:04:48

that's not who we are. So when we get given something

Beth Hewitt: 00:04:52

that is more in tune with that as a word,

Beth Hewitt: 00:04:55

then we start to question, oh, I'm going to hang on a minute, but

Beth Hewitt: 00:04:59

I think belonging means different things to

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:03

different people. So belonging. For

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:07

when we first think about the word belonging, we could be thinking about this sense

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:10

of wanting to be liked and appreciated and loved and visible and all

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:14

of these kind of things, but actually that individual

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:18

word and experience is very different. So your level

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:22

of belonging, not even level, but your version of belonging

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:25

is going to be very different to my version of belonging or a

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:29

celebrity's version of belonging. And I think that's the subtle difference

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:33

in that it's not like I'm the same as everybody else. It's that actually

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:36

my version of the thing. Cause I think belonging is something that a lot of

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:39

people aspire to have. That the family, the home, the

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:43

connection. I feel like there's some essence of that for everybody. Because

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:47

we're human beings. We all like to be liked. We're all social beings,

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:51

and we all like to be liked. But I think the variety of

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:54

that is different. The experience of that is very

Beth Hewitt: 00:05:57

different for everyone. I think it can

Melissa Amos: 00:06:01

manifest when we're, especially when we're younger, to try and fit

Melissa Amos: 00:06:05

into the different crowds. And, okay,

Melissa Amos: 00:06:09

I'm going to become less of me so that they accept me.

Melissa Amos: 00:06:13

This felt like I've

Melissa Amos: 00:06:16

lived a lot of my life, and I think it's this sense

Melissa Amos: 00:06:20

of, I am who I am and I'm

Melissa Amos: 00:06:24

happy with who I am. And I know that I'm not meant to

Melissa Amos: 00:06:28

be fitting in, but that isn't the same as, well. I

Melissa Amos: 00:06:31

belong where I belong. Actually, as I moved through the weekend and

Melissa Amos: 00:06:35

I was with women, some of them I knew, many of them I

Melissa Amos: 00:06:39

didn't. They were all people that you would look at and go,

Melissa Amos: 00:06:42

yeah, these people are. They know their stuff. They're doing

Melissa Amos: 00:06:46

really well. They're making impact in the world and all

Melissa Amos: 00:06:50

of this. And for

Melissa Amos: 00:06:54

me, understanding, okay, what I want is

Melissa Amos: 00:06:57

belonging actually allowed me to show more of

Melissa Amos: 00:07:00

myself, because it's not the version of me that I feel

Melissa Amos: 00:07:04

like I need to put on to belong with them. That's not what I

Melissa Amos: 00:07:07

want. What I want is the whole of me and who I am

Melissa Amos: 00:07:11

to be accepted or witnessed or

Melissa Amos: 00:07:14

understood or at least acknowledged. And

Melissa Amos: 00:07:18

actually, we can't do that if that part of us is hidden behind

Melissa Amos: 00:07:22

what we think we should be. It was deep. Yeah.

Beth Hewitt: 00:07:28

A couple of things came up then, because I think

Beth Hewitt: 00:07:31

sometimes we think we're

Beth Hewitt: 00:07:35

not visible when we are, like, energetically. Like, I know

Beth Hewitt: 00:07:38

I've mentioned in the past where

Beth Hewitt: 00:07:42

maybe, like, a client's attracted to you, to work with you,

Beth Hewitt: 00:07:46

and you thought you weren't showing up as

Beth Hewitt: 00:07:50

the person that they thought you were, if that makes sense. So, like, you're attracting

Beth Hewitt: 00:07:53

clients to you, but you never expected this person to

Beth Hewitt: 00:07:57

be a client of yours because you never thought that they saw you in the

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:00

way that you feel inside, but you're not physically showing on the

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:03

outside. So I think sometimes we want to be more visible, but

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:07

also we are being visible just by the very nature of

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:11

who we are in our energetics and it's more about our

Beth Hewitt: 00:08:14

perception and belief of who we're showing up as. Yeah. And that's,

Melissa Amos: 00:08:18

I think, what this is all about. When we speak about alignment, this is it.

Melissa Amos: 00:08:22

This is like, how does my inner world and my outer world come

Melissa Amos: 00:08:26

into that alignment? How do

Melissa Amos: 00:08:29

I allow myself to be and express,

Melissa Amos: 00:08:33

allowing myself to be and to express who I am without

Melissa Amos: 00:08:37

fear of judgment, but yet still wanting to

Melissa Amos: 00:08:41

be accepted? And I think

Melissa Amos: 00:08:44

that what I witnessed as well was when my ego gets

Melissa Amos: 00:08:48

in the way. And I love my ego. Like, I'm, I don't see ego

Melissa Amos: 00:08:52

as a bad thing. I look at ego as

Melissa Amos: 00:08:55

a part of us that wants to keep us safe.

Melissa Amos: 00:08:59

Yeah, right. And it's the part of us that really helps

Melissa Amos: 00:09:03

us to navigate through the world as a human. Right.

Melissa Amos: 00:09:07

But when the ego gets in the way, it's pretty fragile.

Melissa Amos: 00:09:10

The ego needs, like, a lot of reassurance and a lot, is

Melissa Amos: 00:09:14

this okay? Is this right? Am I doing the right

Melissa Amos: 00:09:18

thing? I'm not sure this is. And maybe we should just

Melissa Amos: 00:09:21

not say that thing now. And so it's, it's

Melissa Amos: 00:09:25

often, for me anyway, this commentary that runs in the back,

Melissa Amos: 00:09:29

and when we listen to that is when we think, oh, no, I better

Melissa Amos: 00:09:33

not, or, oh, no, what if? But when you

Melissa Amos: 00:09:37

really land into what. When I heard that you want

Melissa Amos: 00:09:40

belonging, it came from a part of me that wasn't my ego, it came

Melissa Amos: 00:09:44

from this. It was almost like I could be all where it was in my

Melissa Amos: 00:09:47

body. It was like lower down in the, like the depth of

Melissa Amos: 00:09:51

my belly. And when I kept witnessing that and

Melissa Amos: 00:09:55

going, it's okay, we're going to bring that to you.

Melissa Amos: 00:09:58

The ego, even though at times it was shouting

Melissa Amos: 00:10:03

the reassurance from that part of me

Melissa Amos: 00:10:07

was, yeah, it was, it was reassuring.

Melissa Amos: 00:10:11

The ego, rather than trying to fight it or bat it away, it was going,

Melissa Amos: 00:10:15

it's all right, we can do this, and let's just see what happens. And come

Beth Hewitt: 00:10:19

along for the journey. Ego, you get to come, you get to

Beth Hewitt: 00:10:22

discover. I see egos, like, in my head is like

Beth Hewitt: 00:10:26

Hugo, the health and safety advisor who

Beth Hewitt: 00:10:30

has got his little checklist, and he's, nope, we can't do that today.

Melissa Amos: 00:10:34

And what we're speaking about Reiki and what I love, particularly about the holy

Melissa Amos: 00:10:37

fire Reiki system, is it talks about healing the

Melissa Amos: 00:10:41

ego rather than transcending the

Melissa Amos: 00:10:44

ego. You don't see that very often. This, how do I heal

Melissa Amos: 00:10:48

the ego? And this is how we heal the ego. We understand what it is

Melissa Amos: 00:10:51

that we really want. We understand what it is that ego is scared or

Melissa Amos: 00:10:55

frightened of. And this is when we go into shadow work and into

Melissa Amos: 00:10:59

fear work and into removing the barriers to greatness.

Melissa Amos: 00:11:02

And we reassure it, we love

Melissa Amos: 00:11:06

it, we say, it's okay. I thank you for trying to keep me

Melissa Amos: 00:11:10

safe. Let's try this. And I'm reassuring you that

Melissa Amos: 00:11:14

I'm going to keep you safe in another way. Like, we've

Melissa Amos: 00:11:17

survived this far. It's almost like a transferring of roles, isn't it?

Beth Hewitt: 00:11:21

I'm going to protect you. Thank you for protecting me. I'm going to protect you.

Melissa Amos: 00:11:25

Yeah. Let's do this together. Yeah. And I

Melissa Amos: 00:11:29

feel like that, for me, that's been my journey for the.

Melissa Amos: 00:11:33

Probably, at least for the last ten years and probably

Melissa Amos: 00:11:37

since I had kids, it's been that the ego comes up a lot, I

Melissa Amos: 00:11:41

think, when you, when you come into a new role. And for me, that was

Melissa Amos: 00:11:45

that role of motherhood. And then as I stepped up in this role as

Melissa Amos: 00:11:48

teacher and mentorship, there's other things. And

Melissa Amos: 00:11:53

I feel now, having gone through the deepest layers

Melissa Amos: 00:11:56

of my fears and some other things that came up for me,

Melissa Amos: 00:12:00

one of which was,

Melissa Amos: 00:12:04

what if I lead you wrong? Those words came up. It's like,

Melissa Amos: 00:12:08

why aren't. What are you scared of? Why aren't you moving into the next level?

Melissa Amos: 00:12:12

You. And for me, my inquiry was around my business and working

Melissa Amos: 00:12:16

with, with people like you, working with other leaders and

Melissa Amos: 00:12:19

mentors and healers and coaches and

Melissa Amos: 00:12:23

dads and employees, and I'm working with real human

Melissa Amos: 00:12:27

beings. And as I started to

Melissa Amos: 00:12:31

break it down, I got this again, the same

Melissa Amos: 00:12:35

sense, what if I lead you wrong? And

Melissa Amos: 00:12:38

as I looked at that and it held so

Melissa Amos: 00:12:42

much potency of also, what if I lead myself

Melissa Amos: 00:12:46

wrong? What if I've been led wrong? A lot of the work that we do

Melissa Amos: 00:12:49

is quite misunderstood, and it works with a

Melissa Amos: 00:12:53

lot of faith. There's not that tangible, okay, I'm making

Melissa Amos: 00:12:57

this thing, and here is the product. And look at this.

Melissa Amos: 00:13:00

There's an intangibility around it, which you need to ground in

Melissa Amos: 00:13:04

faith, otherwise. And so having this what if I lead you

Melissa Amos: 00:13:08

wrong? Was coming up for me. I think, as a

Melissa Amos: 00:13:12

shadow of, I'll work with this person and not this person,

Melissa Amos: 00:13:15

or I'll step into this and go, yeah, but then now it's you

Melissa Amos: 00:13:19

or, I work with other people, so we're halving the blame.

Melissa Amos: 00:13:23

And then actually, as I realized that, I was like, this is gold. This

Melissa Amos: 00:13:27

is keeping me humble, this is keeping me

Melissa Amos: 00:13:30

assured of what I'm doing. This is helping me research other ideas. This

Melissa Amos: 00:13:34

is golden. But until it came into my awareness

Melissa Amos: 00:13:37

of, okay, this is something that I'm activating in its

Melissa Amos: 00:13:41

shadow. It had a hold on me that I

Melissa Amos: 00:13:44

didn't. Yeah. That wasn't serving anyone, really. Yeah.

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:48

So it's actually there to support you, to think as you go

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:52

through the different variations of whatever it is that you're

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:56

sharing with the world, the knowledge, your wisdom. Because there is that element of the

Beth Hewitt: 00:13:59

work that we do in the world out our kind of world, is that this

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:03

is what I believe this for today. I fully believe in it. I'm showing up

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:06

as a leader and I'm sharing this information. But what if

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:10

tomorrow? And we change our perspective all the time, right? Because our experiences are

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:14

changing all of the time. And I think it's just

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:17

that knowing that it's always okay if we've always come in from

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:21

that place of honesty, doing good work, trying to do nice things

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:25

in the world, being kind and helping people, that it's always coming from a place

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:28

of love. But that's not to say that we might sometimes get things wrong.

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:32

And if we get things wrong, that's okay. We might also

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:35

get things amazingly right. And then we grow even further in that

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:39

belief. And that also gives us more confirmation that the work that we're doing, it's

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:42

like when you start a membership or a product or a service and you may

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:45

be doing it for the first time with a group of people, it's in that

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:48

beta and you're like, I'm not even sure how this is going to unfold. And

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:52

the more that you do it, the more you get that confirmation that actually this

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:55

is good work. This is amazing. We can build on this. But before we

Beth Hewitt: 00:14:59

allow ourselves to do that, there's that trepidation, there's that

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:02

fear. And I think it's about being okay to not be okay.

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:06

That this is what I believe today and this is the good intentions I want

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:09

to bring forth into the world. And I'm not sure how it's going to unfold.

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:13

I'm going to trust myself and the process enough. And I trust the fact that

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:16

the people who are here to hear the messages of the work I want to

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:19

do in the world are also the right people for me to be doing this

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:23

with right now. And I think when we can be open about that conversation as

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:27

well with others, then magical things can happen. Because

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:31

we can, especially in the business world, we can ask for feedback, we

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:34

can find out how it was for them, we can reflect on it, we can

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:38

make things better. And also we can talk through the process. We

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:42

might start out doing one thing one way and then ten years down the line

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:45

we're doing think something in a very different way. But the journey and the experience

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:49

and the stories that we can tell in between those two points

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:53

is sometimes more powerful then the result,

Beth Hewitt: 00:15:57

the final thing that we're doing over here. But I think, yeah,

Beth Hewitt: 00:16:01

it's about being okay to. To believe in what we're believing in the

Beth Hewitt: 00:16:04

moment and know that we might. Our beliefs might change and that sometimes we get

Beth Hewitt: 00:16:08

it wrong and sometimes we get it magically and beautifully right.

Melissa Amos: 00:16:11

And when we get it wrong, are we still getting it wrong? Yeah.

Melissa Amos: 00:16:15

When we do come from that heart space and we go,

Melissa Amos: 00:16:19

okay, I'm doing this and it's being done for the right reasons.

Melissa Amos: 00:16:23

And I have the experience or the

Melissa Amos: 00:16:26

training or the knowledge or the connection or

Melissa Amos: 00:16:30

whatever it is, we need to be responsible with this work we're doing because it

Melissa Amos: 00:16:34

is deep work. But when it comes from the

Melissa Amos: 00:16:37

heart and when it comes from that good intention and when it comes from that

Melissa Amos: 00:16:41

groundedness of yeah, I know this does

Melissa Amos: 00:16:45

work and I'm going to trust this will work.

Melissa Amos: 00:16:48

And if it doesn't work how I thought

Melissa Amos: 00:16:52

it should, as long as I'm not causing any

Melissa Amos: 00:16:55

harm, it's okay. Yeah. I'm having this

Melissa Amos: 00:16:58

conversation in soul school in my Akashic records training.

Melissa Amos: 00:17:03

So up until now, a lot of the work has been on

Melissa Amos: 00:17:06

self. Yeah, we've been working on self

Melissa Amos: 00:17:10

and journeying and doing the healing and

Melissa Amos: 00:17:13

understanding who we are in our records

Melissa Amos: 00:17:16

ourselves. And now it's fledglings. You are

Melissa Amos: 00:17:20

ready to open the records of another person.

Melissa Amos: 00:17:23

Right. And that was their homework

Melissa Amos: 00:17:27

this month. And it's been interesting to see

Melissa Amos: 00:17:31

the comments and the kind of the fears that are coming up. And

Melissa Amos: 00:17:35

I said in the group yesterday, the fact that you're

Melissa Amos: 00:17:39

afraid of doing this and

Melissa Amos: 00:17:43

of getting it wrong tells me that you've got nothing to be afraid

Melissa Amos: 00:17:47

of. It's. I have the responsibility.

Melissa Amos: 00:17:50

Like what I said to them was this. We know that we're doing deep

Melissa Amos: 00:17:54

work. Yeah. And I wouldn't have said to them

Melissa Amos: 00:17:58

right now it's time to open the records for someone

Melissa Amos: 00:18:02

else just because we are so many months into it. I've been.

Melissa Amos: 00:18:05

I've been quite fluid with the curriculum in there is because I know

Melissa Amos: 00:18:09

that they're ready. And the fact that there

Melissa Amos: 00:18:13

is this, what if I lead them wrong? Tells me that they'll be

Melissa Amos: 00:18:17

grounded enough and aware enough that they're

Melissa Amos: 00:18:20

going to be responsible in the work that they do. This is where we

Melissa Amos: 00:18:24

start. Yeah. You'd be worried if they weren't worried, right?

Melissa Amos: 00:18:28

You'd be worried if they weren't worried. So this, when I came into this fear,

Melissa Amos: 00:18:32

what if I lead them wrong? It's not a case

Melissa Amos: 00:18:36

of me going, oh, no, I'm going to smash through that fear.

Melissa Amos: 00:18:40

It's going, okay, where's the gold in that? And I can

Melissa Amos: 00:18:43

see now, I can see the gold in that. But while it was on, it

Melissa Amos: 00:18:47

was unspoken in me. Yeah,

Melissa Amos: 00:18:51

there was a. And I did have an awareness of it in

Melissa Amos: 00:18:54

some way, but maybe not in those words and not quite so

Melissa Amos: 00:18:58

confrontational, but it now

Melissa Amos: 00:19:02

will, and I can feel it already. It's manifesting in more

Melissa Amos: 00:19:05

assuredness and more, okay, maybe I do need to

Melissa Amos: 00:19:09

know something more about this. Maybe I do need to know a little bit more

Melissa Amos: 00:19:12

research about this. Maybe I can find the alternative point of view on

Melissa Amos: 00:19:16

this, not to bring doubt into what I'm doing, but to

Melissa Amos: 00:19:20

give that more rounded, broad

Melissa Amos: 00:19:24

point of view. Maybe what I do

Melissa Amos: 00:19:28

know is that I feel so

Melissa Amos: 00:19:31

much more landed in my body about the work that I'm

Melissa Amos: 00:19:35

doing and the messages that I'm bringing,

Melissa Amos: 00:19:38

which seems ironic. If I said to you, like, if you

Melissa Amos: 00:19:42

were like a muggle, and I said to you, I discovered that my fear, what

Melissa Amos: 00:19:45

I want is belonging, and I'm scared I'm going to lead you wrong.

Melissa Amos: 00:19:49

Muggle friend would be like, okay, don't do this thing. Don't do this

Beth Hewitt: 00:19:53

thing. Just go and see what everyone else is doing and just do

Melissa Amos: 00:19:57

that. And. And it's okay. And maybe just go and get all the

Melissa Amos: 00:20:01

training in the world and so that you know everything

Melissa Amos: 00:20:04

and then go and do it. Because you're right. The work that you're doing, you

Melissa Amos: 00:20:08

could break people. And there's another. Whereas

Melissa Amos: 00:20:11

what I'm feeling is I'm doing good work. Yeah.

Melissa Amos: 00:20:15

I've spent my life training for this, and now who

Melissa Amos: 00:20:19

am I not to do this? How am I ever going to find that belonging

Melissa Amos: 00:20:22

if I sit behind a fear of. I've got this wisdom and

Melissa Amos: 00:20:26

I'm not going to share it with you in case it's not right, because it's

Melissa Amos: 00:20:29

going to be right. Like, it's going to be right for them in the moment

Melissa Amos: 00:20:32

because that's how it works. Yeah, I love

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:36

that. And that trust that comes from that. It's so powerful.

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:40

I'm glad that you're sharing. I'm glad that you've had that experience because I think

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:42

a lot of listeners and myself as well, it's that reassurance if

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:46

you're someone who already does this kind of work in the world, it's that reassurance

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:50

that you're doing good. You're doing good work in the

Beth Hewitt: 00:20:53

world. You know what? We all have layers.

Melissa Amos: 00:20:57

And I think sometimes you can be in

Melissa Amos: 00:21:00

this position and just be like, yeah, I've got to also sorted. Yeah, so, fine,

Beth Hewitt: 00:21:04

yeah, but complacent. And actually, the work that we do, it is

Melissa Amos: 00:21:08

so important that we go into our own energetics, that we

Melissa Amos: 00:21:12

go into our own triggers, that we go into our own identity,

Melissa Amos: 00:21:15

that we allow ourselves to move and grow and evolve. And

Melissa Amos: 00:21:19

as we do this, then other people can look at it and go, okay,

Melissa Amos: 00:21:23

they're doing this, and maybe I can do this, and maybe it's okay to come

Melissa Amos: 00:21:26

on a podcast and tell people my deepest, darkest

Melissa Amos: 00:21:30

fears, because me sharing this with you. Oh, what if I lead you wrong? Well,

Melissa Amos: 00:21:34

that's not. If that's not your fear, you might not get the depth of that.

Melissa Amos: 00:21:37

For me, but for me, that was what was sitting underneath all

Melissa Amos: 00:21:41

of these things that I was doing, because that. And I knew that was

Melissa Amos: 00:21:45

the right one because when it was presented, it was like, you

Melissa Amos: 00:21:49

know, full body. That's

Melissa Amos: 00:21:52

it. Yeah. Okay. Now I know. And now

Melissa Amos: 00:21:56

I can see where it's moving back. And what I

Melissa Amos: 00:22:00

would say if I know myself pretty well, like, I

Melissa Amos: 00:22:03

do this work, this is the work that I do. It's not like I've gone

Melissa Amos: 00:22:06

from zero to, oh, my God. But wherever you are in this,

Melissa Amos: 00:22:10

there's always a little bit more inquiry. And sometimes just

Melissa Amos: 00:22:14

sitting there or being with somebody or working with a

Melissa Amos: 00:22:18

coach or a mentor or a therapist or a combination

Melissa Amos: 00:22:22

of all of those things can

Melissa Amos: 00:22:26

help you see your blind spots. Even though that's really scary,

Melissa Amos: 00:22:30

and I know it is, when you do it, it is so

Melissa Amos: 00:22:33

freeing. Yeah. It comes back to that safe

Beth Hewitt: 00:22:37

space to be able to do that with others, because we can do that

Beth Hewitt: 00:22:41

for ourselves. I think we can do a lot of the shadow work. We can

Beth Hewitt: 00:22:43

work on ourselves a lot in isolation. But I think when we're

Beth Hewitt: 00:22:47

presented with other people in a neutral setting, in a safe space where we allow

Beth Hewitt: 00:22:50

ourselves to share our deepest. Whatever's coming up and through, there's something very

Beth Hewitt: 00:22:54

liberating about that. It's almost like setting. It's free,

Beth Hewitt: 00:22:58

isn't it, in the world and other people holding a mirror up to us. And

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:01

that's it. I learned this weekend when I saw these other women

Melissa Amos: 00:23:05

who, like I said, they're very successful.

Melissa Amos: 00:23:08

And all the things that maybe we aspire to be. And

Melissa Amos: 00:23:12

then you see their struggles and their

Melissa Amos: 00:23:16

sharings and their kind of blind spots,

Melissa Amos: 00:23:20

and there's a potency in that because

Melissa Amos: 00:23:24

then it was like, we're all human and we're all going through the. Stuff,

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:28

and I think that naturally creates a sense of

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:31

belonging. I know I have been very open and

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:34

honest in my own communities about what's been going on for me

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:38

personally, because I'm a human being and, like, I need

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:42

support as much as I'm supporting them. And I think in

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:45

showing my vulnerabilities, it's allowing other people to also know that it's a

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:49

safe space for them to share when they're going through difficult times. But

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:53

I think certainly in this industry, sometimes a lot of coaches might be like,

Beth Hewitt: 00:23:56

everything's amazing. I'm like, fantastic. Nothing ever goes wrong in my world,

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:00

and it's just not. We're human beings. Things happen. We have

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:04

our ups and downs. So I think it's. It's very humbling and also

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:07

very. It is powerful when you see leaders leading. Like, I

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:11

know you went there with, you know, your mentors, as well, people

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:15

who you work with, and so just the very fact that they're also bringing people

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:19

along and you're bringing people along is a. An amazing space to be

Beth Hewitt: 00:24:23

in. Magical things happen. Magical things happen when

Melissa Amos: 00:24:26

they face the darkness. Yeah. And I do

Melissa Amos: 00:24:30

recommend it. And if you are a leader and you do

Melissa Amos: 00:24:33

work with people, there's a balance. Like, you don't go around and, like, trauma

Melissa Amos: 00:24:37

dump over everybody, like client, but being open

Melissa Amos: 00:24:41

to that and going, okay, you know what? This

Melissa Amos: 00:24:45

stuff happens, and this is what's happening for me and right now. And, yeah, I've

Melissa Amos: 00:24:48

got all the tools in the world, and sometimes it's hard to use the tools

Melissa Amos: 00:24:51

when you're in the middle of the thing. And actually,

Melissa Amos: 00:24:55

as a. As the mentee, it

Melissa Amos: 00:24:59

gives you that hope that, yeah, you know what? I know things go wrong in

Melissa Amos: 00:25:02

my life because if you were always, everything's

Melissa Amos: 00:25:05

fine. Because I do the spirit work. Nothing ever goes wrong.

Melissa Amos: 00:25:09

You think you're broken. And I see this all the time. People are like, I'm

Melissa Amos: 00:25:12

doing the affirmations and I'm talking to the angels and I'm

Melissa Amos: 00:25:16

giving myself Reiki every day, but things are still going wrong. Am I doing it

Melissa Amos: 00:25:20

wrong? And it's. No, you're doing the human experience.

Melissa Amos: 00:25:23

These things aren't meant to be. Be like a

Melissa Amos: 00:25:27

padded room where you're like, man, you just go sit in

Melissa Amos: 00:25:30

there. Hello. Yeah, this is

Melissa Amos: 00:25:34

part of it. And I think this is what the new wave of

Melissa Amos: 00:25:38

leaders, healers, readers, guides are coming into. And

Melissa Amos: 00:25:42

this is what it's stepping into. And you know what? It starts with us, with

Melissa Amos: 00:25:45

you, with the listeners here of going, all right, do you

Melissa Amos: 00:25:49

know what? I'm a human and I'm having this and I'm willing to

Melissa Amos: 00:25:53

explore it so that I can keep on evolving. You do that,

Melissa Amos: 00:25:58

in my opinion, you're fulfilling your mission on this earth. Yeah,

Beth Hewitt: 00:26:02

you've been of service by just doing your thing. See,

Melissa Amos: 00:26:06

we got deep again. We did. So thank you for everyone

Melissa Amos: 00:26:09

listening for being my. Being my therapist today and

Melissa Amos: 00:26:13

witnessing my evolution. Thank you for being vulnerable as well, and thank

Beth Hewitt: 00:26:17

you for sharing that. And I'm sure a lot of people will get a lot

Beth Hewitt: 00:26:19

from that. And hopefully our listeners will get their own sense

Beth Hewitt: 00:26:23

of belonging, knowing that we were a safe podcast. I don't know what the word

Beth Hewitt: 00:26:26

is. We're a safe place for you to listen and get in contact with

Beth Hewitt: 00:26:30

us if you want to be part of our other world. So,

Melissa Amos: 00:26:34

yes, if this has triggered anything in you, do you do

Melissa Amos: 00:26:38

reach out? Sometimes when we voice it, it can really help.

Melissa Amos: 00:26:42

Like you said, best set it free. So do get in touch. Let us

Melissa Amos: 00:26:46

know. Let us know if this has inspired you or triggered you or anything else.

Melissa Amos: 00:26:49

And yeah, we look forward to supporting you through our different ways.